I spend a lot of time and mental effort grappling with my spiritual life. The ongoing war in my head consumes me. I am torn. Raised a Jew and now a Christian, I have not been able to shake or cement my faith. Perhaps it is not meant to be, and I will always question everything pertaining to a belief in “G-D.” So, am I losing my faith altogether, or am I shedding the supernatural aspects? If the supernatural is removed what’s left to believe in.
Where does this stance of un-supernatural faith fall in regards to my belief in Christ? Belief in something does not necessarily mean an association with the supernatural. Can one follow Christ’s example alone and be a Christian? Love, charity, and service to others should be enough, right? Must I be a “literal” believer of the bible? I don’t think so. I am not delusional. Skeptical, yes as should anyone who hears the fantastic stories of the bible. But are there logical explanations to all those fantastic stories? Does it really matter? Can I be faithful without the trappings of religion?
What matters is how we treat each other. Our connection to each other will lead us to understanding why we are here and our place in the universe. One thing that continues to elude us is the ability to coexist. If race, ethnicity, and socio-economic status didn’t already push us apart, “religion” drives the wedge between us even further. Even those who don’t hold any spiritual beliefs are guilty of the same derision. So, is there any possibility of unity with such diversity in this world? Historically it hasn’t happened with any long term success which leads me to believe it is impossible.
My dilemma is when religious fanatics rear their ugly heads and do ugly things in the name of G-D. News-feeds from around the globe never fail to show some medieval display of religion going on somewhere. This Saturday a church in Florida will burn copies of the Koran in the name of Christ. Yup, I’m embarrassed. Not for them, but for me. I am embarrassed because of the beliefs that I do have. I don’t want to be associated with the zealots and charlatans proclaiming their twisted views of G-D, but we all get lumped together and it’s not fair. But still I participate in some way because my faith keeps me hooked into a community that feels foreign.
I feel like I’m in a no win situation. Is this how it’s supposed to be?